Thursday, 16 May 2013

THE LIBERATOR ENDURES


I can’t tell you how much of a shock it was to clap eyes on the old gal again.  After all those years; forty–six, to be precise.  And to quickly weigh up how much abuse and degradation she’d suffered, how much neglect.  She was barely recognizable.  Imagine my astonishment when they broke the news to me.  This crippled old ship bore the name Kiss Me Babe.  Another shock:  This was the very aircraft assigned to Instructional Duties at the tail-end of the war.  At that time I happened to be training Liberator crews in the South-East Asian campaign.

How were we to reclaim the wreckage?  Then how to restore it?  An estate agent in Moe, a country town in Victoria, had informed the Commanding Officer at Point Cook of the discovery of a B-24 Liberator.  Two guys were living in one!  The C.O., the Curator of Point Cook Museum and I drove down in a staff car to inspect the old ship, partially hidden by bush and wedged between trees so awkward to approach and enter – you had to grab a rope and swing across the fuselage and into the hatch on the top of the nose to climb down into the cockpit – a bit dicey when you’re seventy!  Cocky about showing off the plane, these two guys were nonetheless behaving oddly, like retarded hayseeds.  The deranged one claimed to be a war correspondent; the other, more of a nerdy greenie, squealed, ‘Youse can’t touch the trees!  These ones are historic!’  We were aghast.  They had rubbished the Liberator’s insides.  At least, the pilot seats were still intact; evidently, the cockpit had not served as their reading room.

The C.O., determined to acquire this sad old hulk for the RAAF as a museum piece, eventually made a successful offer in the face of stiff oppositon.  The dozers were brought in, then a semi-trailer to transport the fuselage and lone battered wing.  We reckoned on needing thousands of replacement parts – the B-24 Liberator comprised well over a million.  We knew of one collector who had reconnoitred the jungles of New Guinea, where many Liberators had been shot down by the Japanese or crashed in remote or impenetrable terrain, and it was from New Guinea years later that we did recover a wing with the aid of a chopper and the Navy.  Steel parts, such as engine mounts, had been buried at Tocumwal in the Riverina and were bulldozed out.  In the light alloy die-casting shop at Huntingdale, a few kilometres from Melbourne, full-size models of missing parts were made from moulds of aluminium castings.  Eventually we found ninety-five per cent of missing components, but the cost would be staggering.

I’m the only one left of my old American crew on the B-24 Liberator, Locklip Lucy.  On our missions way above the clouds we rarely spoke of those earthly horrors we witnessed.  And certainly not to our loved ones back home.  Not until my son was fifteen did he enquire about my role in the war and even then he wasn’t curious.  Those frantic, edgy times seemed light years away.  Tacitly, we flyers knew what turmoil our mates were feeling.  After the war we had our reunions, of course.  Memories came flooding back but coloured with the warmth of reminiscing with comrades who appreciated what we had achieved, what we had endured, without the burning anguish of the horrors we inflicted or the sudden pangs of fear we felt as we taxied down the runway for take-off or when streams of black smoke belched from an engine shot out.  Or even nightmares of locking onto an enemy Zeke.  No, by and large those reunions were cheerful occasions, notwithstanding several pairs of clouded eyes misting over at remembrance of a few more mates passing since our previous gathering.

I suppose the secret of my long life is living in the bush during my formative years.  My mother wasn’t such a great cook, but she always served up hearty fare, the traditional English tucker of meat and three veg.  We could always barter, sell mushrooms or shoot and sell rabbits.  So I enjoyed a fairly free and comfortable upbringing in spite of the Depression.  We lived in a teacher’s residence and lean-to with dirt floor, washed clothes in a boiler over an open fire and journeyed by horse and buggy to do the shopping.  I was the shy middle one of seven brothers and two sisters, the only kid my mother would take to meetings because she knew I would be no trouble.  ‘Hasn’t he got a lovely smile?’ women would say.  I’ve been smiling ever since.  It works wonders.  What might be considered hardships, you simply accepted.  You didn’t know any different.  Outdoors we went barefoot; our shoes we saved for school.  I used to roam the countryside with my two older brothers, exploring water-holes, fishing for eels and trout, collecting birds eggs.  We would skin and gut rabbits and earn rabbit skin money to buy aniseed balls and liquorice allsorts.  With the fur we’d make ourselves hats.  We lived near a river and caught freshwater crayfish.  They were a fair size but ugly creatures, so we beat them to death or dropped them live into boiling water.  One day a garage proprietor asked for our catch, a great delicacy, he said, and we handed them over for him to keep cool in a sugar bag lowered into a work pit.

Something of a loner, I had nevertheless a cheerful disposition, but was bullied at school on account of my Pommie accent and my Anglophile father being headmaster.  Like many kids before the advent of the motor car had drastically changed life in the country towns, I could amuse myself for hours.  I’d make model gliders from strips of balsa wood one eighth of an inch thick, cut them up with my rabbit-skinning knife and glue them together, following the diagrams in the Boys Own Paper.  Then I’d insert a rubber band behind a propeller to drive them.  My favourite was a Schneider Trophy, forerunner to the Spitfire.  Once I bought a bagful of old pocket watches for two bob and, tinkering about and cannibalizing from old time-pieces, made six of them function again.  At school I constructed radio sets from odds and bobs.  I guess I’ve always been very resourceful.  There were early signs that I’d do something practical with my life.

My health was pretty good.  Sadly, my eldest brother died of rheumatic fever at the age of fifteen.  I neither smoked nor drank but regrettably my sixty-one year-old son is a heavy smoker and has recently suffered a stroke.

When I was thirteen I forked out fifteen shillings to take a ten-minute joyride with Kingsford Smith, who was barnstorming across the country in The Southern Cross to raise money for his record-breaking flights.  I remember her wicker armchairs in the style of Raffles in Singapore bolted to the floor.  Throughout that year, 1932, I collected empty beer bottles to add to my rabbit skin money.  The celebrated aviator would take you up to about 1500 feet quick sticks so he could take on more passengers.  To meet someone so famous and heroic made a big impression.

Attending Dookie Agricultural College was one of the best things I did, for it provided an excellent all-round practical education, including an invaluable engineering course.  I designed a shock absorber system for bicycles and for pocket money I developed photographs, sold radio receivers I had constructed and laboured on the College farm during holidays.  In the Depression it was so vital to make some cash any way you could.  Sometimes I regret not going to university to take an engineering degree at war’s end.  I vividly remember being bullied in dangerous initiation ceremonies at Dookie, such as hanging onto the shafts of an old Cobb and Co. coach, the senior students seated smugly inside, as it raced round the dam before slewing off course on the overflow from a ditch.  I wasn’t the only one thrown off or having my bed up-ended in the middle of the night or subjected to pillow fights when one of the seniors would wield his kukri knife and slash the capok to shreds and feathers.  In 1938 I refused to join the Rifle Club because you had to swear to staff you’d go to war.

But when war did break out in September, 1939 I felt motivated to do my bit and defend the British Empire.  I wasn't looking for adventure.  Like my English-born father, who had trained as an Anglican minister and sought to travel overseas supporting English communities for eight years in such far-flung places as Vladivostok, I too was itching to see something of his mother country, which flying a Liberator in the European theatre of war would provide.

At Victoria Barracks I told the Secretary of Air, ‘I want to be a pilot, sir.’

‘Everybody wants to be a pilot.  Do you know anything about radio sets?’

I did, the hand-made sort cobbled together, but instead of achieving forty words of Morse per minute, I managed only two.  Evidently, I’d done my dash with flying.

‘What about being a rigger?’

‘What do they do, sir?’

‘They chock the aircraft’s wheels, generally handle the plane on the tarmac, clean it, minor repairs, that sort of thing.’

That sounded pretty good.  So I completed the six months’ course at Ascot Vale as Flight Rigger, sleeping in the sheep pavilion on concrete in the Show Grounds.

Following in our family tradition, I signed up for the air force.  My youngest brother had crashed a Wellington through a hangar two months into training and was badly burnt in the flames in which two crewmen were killed.  A couple of cousins in the RAAF also perished in the skies.

It was at Laverton air base, south-west of Melbourne, that I suffered my only wartime injury.  We were assembling the various parts of a Spitfire.  The sling holding up one of the wings broke as we were positioning it on the fuselage.  If the wing had dropped, the damage would have been a costly setback, so I felt obliged to hold the heavy load up with bare hands for a few minutes.  I severely strained the muscles in my back, but said nothing lest I would be prevented from flying.  As a consequence, I was compelled to sleep in a painful, curled-up position for many years after the war.

At last in 1942 I received a call-up for aircrew training and was posted to Somers on the southern coast of the Mornington Peninsula.  I was now an L.A.C. (Leading Aircraftsman) embarked upon the Empire Training Scheme.  Blankets and a palliasse were distributed, which we promptly filled with straw, which made a pretty hard bed.  We were allocated to huts of thirty to forty airmen and awaited first morning roll call with apprehension.  For two months we studied maths, navigation, theory of flight, Morse code, aircraft engines. Also aircraft and ship recognition, whereby silhouettes were flashed on a screen and you had to name the object within five seconds – five seconds that could save your life.  We were also kept occupied with lots of physical training.

On leaving Somers we were issued with a white flash to be worn in our caps to signify we were aircraft trainees.  We were very proud of that flash.

I was gaining a reputation for asking awkward questions, being a bit of a stirrer.  Twenty-five out of thirty-two trainees on the course were made sergeants.  To my chagrin, I was made only an ‘arse-up corporal’ (because the brevet was upside down).  I doubt whether discipline in the RAAF was as rigorous as it was in the British services.  The longer you served, the more easy-going it became.  At first, I was picked on by the drill instructor, who ordered me to move on the double all the time.  ‘Right, corporal, go and clean the latrines!  On the double!’ he barked.  ‘What right have you got to order me about?’  I retorted, as the officer didn’t have stripes sewn on his new overalls.  ‘Right-o, I’ll take you down to the Warrant Officer.’  Where I was charged, but in defence I argued that the officer had ‘delusions of grandeur without any authority’.  I was still shy in those days – the girls fell for the pilots, not the aircrew – but after putting up with the bullying and baiting at Dookie College I was no longer willing to be pushed around.  After all, I was a volunteer to defend King and Country, not a conscript.  I merited some respect!

At Benalla, the No.11 Elementary Flying School, the eight-week course comprised trigonometry, Morse, charting courses.  The job of us sprogs or ‘tarmac terriers’ was to collect the De Havilland Tiger Moths as they taxied back to the flight line.  Two airmen holding on to each end of the lower wing guided them to their positions on the tarmac.  These two-seaters had no brakes.

The Commanding Officer declared:  ‘Catchpole’s uncle was my legal partner in Adelaide.  Get into any trouble at all, Catchpole, come and see me.’  During war-time it was surprising how frequently such co-incidences occurred.

For two months I trained on a Tiger Moth, ‘wire, sticks and linen’, just circuits and landings.  I was scared stiff, but soon came to appreciate that the truly brave airmen were the fighter pilots, particularly in Europe, for although they were sent on shorter missions, they were very much on their own, independent, as opposed to the highly co-ordinated ten-man crew of the Liberator, who were flying at higher altitude and therefore less susceptible to enemy firepower.

On my first flight there was a speaking tube, a gadget like a stethoscope, used to link the novice pilot to his trainer.  In the back seat was Screaming Skull, screamed so you didn’t get over-confident.  After five hours, ‘You’re on your own, so go and do a circuit.’  I carefully taxied a short distance on the grass airfield, checked my simple cockpit drill and slowly opened the throttle to the full.  After gaining speed, the tail came up off the ground and we were gently bumping along.  Suddenly I was airborne.

I climbed at sixty-six miles per hour to about one thousand feet, eased off the throttle, levelled off and rolled back the trim to take pressure off the controls.  After making a series of left turns I completed one circuit of the airfield and began the descent for landing.  Continuing to ease the throttle back, I was down to five hundred feet and approaching the airfield at the regulation speed of sixty-six miles per hour.  With almost all the power off, I hovered and sank slowly toward the ground.

Meanwhile The Screaming Skull had boasted to those colleagues who gathered round to watch my landing, ‘I’ve got a fantastic student here.’  Would you believe, I made a hash of it, bumping heavily five times.  The Screaming Skull was left with egg on his face.  From then on he always came down on me like a ton of hot bricks.
In the early mornings, it was very still and we would often take off before sunrise.  But in getting off the ground and upwards of five hundred or one thousand feet, you’d find the sun would be up and the ground still in darkness.  This magical space gave me a sense of freedom, clarity of thought, achievement and even peace.

I wasn’t so flash on aerobatics, spins, stall turns, rolls, loops.  They were always performed above three thousand feet for safety.  Learning to spin the Tiger was easy.  It meant climbing with little power and at the point of stall, about forty-eight miles per hour, one wing would flip over and the aircraft would immediately spiral down into a spin, mesmerizing me with fear at first, but joystick forward and full rudder in the opposite direction to the spin would soon correct that.  Motor on and ease the stick back and you were flying straight and level again.  Flying upside down was hairy stuff.  It was essential to have your leather harness secure.  When the motor stopped, you instinctively made a grab for your straps and held on like crazy.  As for looping the loop . . . don’t ask!

One time, flying on two engines up to 10,000 feet, the fog was so thick, I said to a fellow-student lying in the nose staring out the perspex window, ‘If you see anything, let me know.’  As we were descending lower and lower, ever more cautiously, I heard frantic drumming with thrashing feet on the floor before a desperate yell,  ‘Pull on the engine, we’re skimming gum leaves!

The only occasion I felt any real fear was in formation flying, three Airspeed Oxfords flying wing to wing over Point Cook.  I stayed off a bit on the flank, while the other two were far too close, inevitably clipping wings and in the blink of an eye went twisting downward.  Two gung-ho pilots died needlessly.

To cut to the chase, I was a hesitant pilot, unable to maintain even a slow roll, let alone dare all those fancy manoeuvres.  I realized I was incapable of being a fighter pilot.  My burning desire was to fly the new 4-engine bomber, the Liberator, so that I could see something of England.

At graduation we were presented with our flying logbook, a much-prized possession, after nine hours of flying instruction, but not before being chewed out by my instructor.  I flew solo for the first time in an Airspeed Oxford, but ground-looped, swinging violently round having lost power in one of the engines.  What is it about training instructors and RSMs that invariably turn them into nasty pieces of work?

Then in late 1943 I was one of four Australian pilots posted to an American squadron in Queensland.  The only tropical gear issued by the RAAF was a pith helmet, as if I were going on safari!  By contrast, the Americans wanted for nothing, enjoying impressive logistic support.  They fitted me out with a smart uniform, including a baseball cap.  On my first day at Fenton I was ordered, under protest, to draw my personal jeep.  Construction and engineering battalions were carving out numerous forward airstrips to facilitate General MacArthur’s push toward the Philippines.

Mind you, I couldn’t for the life of me be a gunner sitting in the Liberator’s belly, peering down on oblivion for hour after hour until the aircraft got in between cones of fire to gain the shortest route possible to the target.  In fact, all the crewmen were constantly communicating by inter-com before take-off and all instruments checked out on the journey.  The pilot had a throat microphone but only in an emergency would you communicate with another pilot in the squadron, so as not to betray information to the Japanese.  A great deal of communication was carried out before take-off.  Once in the air, the squadrons formed up, and as the land slipped away behind us, you'd be wondering, "Will this be our day?

The Liberator was a marvellous plane to fly, a beautiful piece of engineering.  It had the same shaped wing with high lift modelled on the Catalina, with a pendulous weight beneath, so it rarely bounced on landing as the nose was heavier and the undercarriage felt as if it was coming up.  Although the earlier models were painted khaki with a sealer, the later versions had an aluminium silver that glittered in the sun.  On a short run we’d carry 8,000 pounds of bombs; on a long run, 4,000 pounds.  The Liberator carried more bombs than any other aircraft by the Allies and survived a huge number of encounters with the enemy.  We made routine raids on distant resource centres, inter-island shipping and other targets of opportunity.  Our aggressive bombing schedule threatened the Japs, but our record in those early months was calamitous.

Night missions for Surabaya would depart at 5.30 in the afternoon, destined to arrive over Java at about 1.00 in the morning.  Up above 6,000 feet you could pick out the location of the islands in the Indonesian archipelago because a small cloud would invariably be hovering over them.  The return leg was more tricky, trying to locate the landing strip at Corunna Downs, where there were no distinct geographical features to identify it.

On my first mission I was on tenterhooks.  You don’t know how you are going to react under pressure.  I was reasonably calm, which surprised me.  Some men freeze, unable to control their functions.  A radio operator was grievously shocked when a shell exploded inside his plane and he was badly scarred on both cheeks.  That plane was dreadfully shot up, a proper pepper-pot.  The guy refused to fly again and was consequently charged with having a lack of moral fibre and was court-martialled back in Melbourne.  For many of us, it was arse-about:  if you get hit by a Japanese fighter, it gets your dander up, makes you wild as hell and determined to wreak destruction on the enemy.

In Java our targets were the engineering works and other landing strips at Surabaya.  We took the route round Madeira to fox the Japanese by approaching from a different angle.  Although the street lights were on, we were greeted with a relentless burst of ack-ack so missed the Braat Engineering Works.  ‘We’re going round again,’ said our Captain, Frank Mercurio, chisel-jawed, impervious to the consequences.  ‘We missed the goddam target!’   With deep misgiving and sense of foreboding, I looked for the river to get my bearings and circled back on track.

Going round again, by which time enemy ack-ack had found our range, I was terrified.  We were dropping incendiaries to light up targets for the following aircraft to bomb.  These incendiaries had left a trail a mile long after the magnesium flare burst.  It looked like a runway through the industrial area.  You’d never know if you’d hit civilians.  Obviously, there would have been workers there but I chose not to think about that.  It was never discussed.  You are trained to kill.  That's the object.  Killing some mother's son.  The nifty Mosquitoes would zip over with cameras next day to assess the damage.

After that ordeal I felt dead, absolutely dead; others would be shaking like jelly.  A shot of much-appreciated whisky was given to crews on their return.  As for me, a teetotaler, I made do with lolly water.  American flyers were treated very generously by their Government and received two cartons of cigarettes a week:  Lucky Strike, Chesterfield or Camels.

A squadron of fifty Liberators made a raid on Hollandia, a big base for the Japanese in New Guinea.  Approaching Nadzab on the north coast, I was in the C.O.’s lead aircraft.  The Japs turned on the radar-operated searchlights, blinding us so we couldn’t read the maps.  Fortunately, their own tracers illuminated the targets for our gunners.  We lit the place up with bombs.  Tracers were shooting past.  Quite by chance, the Japanese planes were re-fuelling at that very moment.  We wiped out all two hundred enemy aircraft, but two days later the United States Navy had the gall to claim the credit with its own belated bombardment.

If a plane had not returned from a bombing mission after four hours, you could assume it was lost.  There was no mark of respect, no ceremony.  It didn’t bother us flyers if you weren’t particular friends.  The loss of aircrews happened often enough.  Besides, the tents were spread over some distance, so you weren’t familiar with those not in your crew, but even amongst your own crew there wasn’t much fraternizing.  I wasn’t aware of any low spirits or loss of morale when a crew failed to return.  Two weeks elapsed before the families were informed by letter that their sons were missing in action.  Condolences were sent along with personal possessions.  We would sift through the kit of the dead men to dispose of Esquire and other lewd magazines.  Airmen could buy the dead men’s personal possessions.  I made an offer for a pair of pearl-handled Colt revolvers that I fancied.  One of my tasks was to check the letters of the Americans, many of whom could neither read nor write.  What’s more, I had to inspect the fingernails of the catering staff for hygiene and lock away the firearms of the black ancillary servicemen at six o’clock lest they hopped into the grog in the evening.  Oh yes, they could be pretty volatile after they’d sunk a few beers.

‘Fall out, Jews and Catholics!’  Church Parade on Sundays was run by chaplains.  If you owned up to a religion, you were excused doing chores about the base after the service.  Nearly all the Americans I knew had faith.  They’d wear a rabbit’s foot round their neck or a gold cross.  I’ve never been religious.  Whoever’s up there’s doing a lousy job!  But on return from a mission my first co-pilot, Frank Mercurio, a strict Catholic, would bend down on his knees and kiss the ground with a salvo of Hail Marys.  It was something of a surprise that they didn’t talk about the civilians we were bombing.  We were above it all, anaesthetized, spoke only of getting rid of Japanese aircraft, not the crew we had most likely killed.  Ethics was not our strong suit.  Whenever the gunners shot down a Japanese plane, there was mayhem.  ‘Beauty, one less!’ The Americans would sing away joyously, the delirious thrill of being intensely alive.

My two co-pilots, Frank Mercurio and Marty Conroy, were supreme pilots who could fly the Liberator single-handed without help from us mere mortals in the cockpit.  They taught me to relax, not get uptight.  On one run from Darwin to Adelaide, we lost two engines.  Due to my familiarity with the topography, I was able to guide Frank to a service station at the corner of the runway to maximize the longest run-in.  He crunched the plane down immaculately.  A lithe, swarthy, black-haired guy, Frank was unflappable, particularly when the Zekes made head-on passes to shoot out one of our engines.  But I do recollect his brooding silence when the Slinky Sue was shot down and half the crew lost their lives.

Slinky Sue was hit in engine 2, her captain told us a fortnight later.  She lost power, smoking badly, weighed down by a bomb load that had stuck fast.  We were falling behind the lead formation, as you probably remember, he said.  A Jap pilot fired his cannon into the right side of the fuselage, ripping a three-foot hole into the radio operator’s cubby and damaging the engine controls.  The intercom was destroyed, so crewmen in the tail received no word about ditching.  She was losing altitude so fast she slammed into the ocean, hurling an immense shower of water and debris skyward.  We seven survivors prised open the two life rafts jammed in the storage hatches only seconds before poor old Sue gave up the ghost.  Then bloody hell, there was more strafing over her grave.  We lashed our two rafts together and prayed with all our heart.  The rations from our life rafts could be made to stretch the few days we were adrift in the drink.  We collected extra water from the rain in tins.  Six days into our ordeal, another bloomin’ Jap plane strafed us.  I yelled out for everyone to dive down quick, but the turret gunner, who was much afraid of the water, refused to dive beneath the surface and was a sitting duck.  We retrieved his floating body, uttered a few words over it, deflated his Mae West and let him slip below the surface.  Eventually, we struck landfall on an island not so distant from the mainland.  The rescue plane picked us up twenty-four hours later.  Christ, we were dead lucky!

My other co-pilot, Captain Marty Conroy, an open-faced, blond-haired guy with the dashing good looks of Alan Ladd, was Group Operations Officer, who was destined to chalk up 416 combat hours.  At times he could get frustrated by the severe weather conditions, from the relentless heat of Queensland that left him choking at the red dust to the torrential rains during the monsoon season.  Those long fifteen-hour sorties when you suddenly dropped out of the zone of calm and infinite blue into poor visibility and strong turbulence, sleet and lightning storm, put a strain on everyone’s nerves.  Inevitably, someone would chirp up and sing ‘Oh what a beautiful morning’ to ease the tension.

Apart from burning himself on the red-hot skin of his own plane caused by the blistering heat of the outback and the incineration of his best buddy called upon to replace another crewman who withdrew with an ear infection, he did enjoy solving the problem of deterring crocodiles in the Katherine River by exploding a hand grenade in the water before venturing into the water-hole.  And found two solutions for the monthly beer rations:  cool them by pouring aviation gas over the bottles and then allowing the rapid evaporation to do the job; or take a B-24 up for a spin, a flying test at high altitude with a cargo of beer.

No doubt, a sense of humour was vital to keep your spirits up.  There was an American navigator who owned a pet cockatoo that he would take up in his plane.  One time his crew switched cockie with a moulting cockatoo and rubbed petroleum on its wings, so it looked even seedier.  You should have heard his purple language and cries of anguish before we apprised him of the truth.  He also kept an iguana six feet long with awful teeth.  It was tied between the trees and occasionally would rear up when disturbed and scare the living daylights.

Pilots and crewmen had a lot of affection for their own ship, referring to them as ‘she’.  Their captains invariably chose nose art with saucy names, such as Jezebel or Mississippi Madame or Lucky Strike, Drunkard’s Dream, Sleepy Time Gal.  Altogether I flew about fifty different planes, each one having its own temperament or strengths and weaknesses.  You didn’t feel comfortable flying in another plane but your own.  It was the captain’s prerogative to choose the aircraft’s name.  I remember ‘Beautiful Betsy’, a pig of a thing that used too much fuel, perhaps it was something in the rigging, but you always wondered if you had enough fuel to get her back home.  On the fuselage the painted image of a bomb indicated the number of missions or strikes, whereas the icons of vertical planes represented the number you’d shot down.

In 1944 after nine months of flying combat, I had clocked up three hundred hours in combat conditions; 150 hours in extreme conditions.  Perhaps that’s why I was next deployed as an Instructor to Tocumwal in the Riverina, noted for its dust storms and poor visibility.  This was the biggest base built in Australia by the Americans in three or four months.  It comprised two long runways, housing constructed like a village to give the impression that it wasn’t a military area with some 4,000 trainees.  Many of these were experienced pilots who’d flown Lancasters, Halifax’s and Sunderlands in England and the Middle East, some highly decorated with DSO and DFC.  Consequently, I was promoted to Flight Lieutenant because it was deemed improper for a mere Flying Officer to train senior officers.  Even then our relationship could be prickly.  They were happy to get onto a modern aircraft when the war in Europe finished.  They could have piloted two-seater Mosquitoes, but the Liberator was much preferred as the best aircraft.  The B-24s were ground-checked, test-flown, then flown to Tocumwal.

Australia received about 380 B-24 Liberators from the United States and I was detailed to assist fly them over.  I was in San Francisco when I heard some startling news.  ‘What’s an atomic bomb?’  I asked.  People were going crazy up and down every street, breaking into stores, looting, throwing their clothes off, marching, partying, you couldn’t move for gyrating people.  The euphoria was manic.  Of course, Americans love Australians, they’re the salt of the earth.  But my English accent stuck out like a sore thumb. ‘Bloody lime-juicer!’ they’d call out, as if their ancestral memory of the English went back to the American War of Independence.  The stoushes I got involved in left me with scratches and bruises all over my body.  I filled up my Mae West with nylon stockings, which were rare as sharks teeth back in Australia, so made great gifts for girlfriends.

A former test pilot was due to examine Instructors one Sunday morning, which pleased me as I would miss church parade.  I thundered down the airstrip towards the living quarters and got the nose up to find that the Examiner had cut number one motor.  I quickly got into gear, as I had anticipated something challenging like that.  About two hundred feet up, he cut number two motor.  By this time I was slewing to the left over hundreds of troops in their blue uniforms lined up for church parade.  Most of the men hit the deck. Later the Wing Commander chewed my ear never to pull such a stunt again!

Gradually, the fortunes of war turned against the Japanese; the Americans pushed their bases northward to draw closer to engagement with the enemy, first to Brisbane, then Port Moresby.

I came to enjoy my brief period as Instructor in spite of the odd emergency, such as a practice bomb hang-up; the landing gear stuck in the ‘up’ position; and a Beaufort, which had blown a tyre during a take-off run and careered towards us with one engine on fire.

One of my last flights as an RAAF pilot was returning from Moratai with a cargo of ex-POWs.  Such a pitiful sight, they were invited into the officers mess at Gawler, South Australia, where they ate their first square meal in years.  Unfortunately, their digestive system couldn’t cope and to a man they were sick as wretched dogs.

Having left school at fourteen, I am proud to have begun my air force career as a Flight Rigger and finished as a Flight Lieutenant and Captain of B-24 Liberators.  I did what I had to do.  You do your duty; you're loyal to your mates, far more so than in civilian life.  It wasn't a sacrifice for me.  Since the Liberators had been purchased from the United States under Lend-Lease, they could not be flown for civil use.  After the war I continued flying with Trans-Australia Airlines for five years.

Each week at Werribee, where I put in several hours every Thursday, we muster about twenty-five volunteers for our labour of love – civil engineers, locksmiths, architects, truckies, taxi-drivers, all sorts, young and old, men and women, many of whom have had no previous experience of working with aircraft.  And now there's an airframe mechanic.  The skin of the rebuilt plane is parked on a section of original runway.  Parts badly corroded are recast or we make them ourselves.  We possess quite an assortment of tools:  sand-blasting machines, lathes, grinders, welding.  We are also restoring an Airspeed Oxford, whose under-carriage I’m currently busy on.  I had experience working a lathe as a fitter.  We completed the exterior of the Liberator three or four years back, so now we are sprucing up the interior, refitting oxygen bottles and hydraulics.  The tail plane is sitting on trestles, as we can’t yet connect the control cables.  We trade parts, but three different models of the Liberator were manufactured, so sizes don’t always measure up.  Henry Ford supplied eight thousand Liberators, but there were D and J models too.  And now we have a lasting memorial to all those who served on the B-24 squadrons and those who did not come back.

At the same time we are restoring the under-carriage of an Airspeed Oxford, which has a wooden frame and numerous metal brackets.  I’m working on the hydraulic struts whose steel has corroded and the rubber glans have perished.  I take them apart, clean or sandblast them or use a wire brush on the end of a drill.  Then you prime and paint ready for assembly.

I may be slowing up a bit, but I still enjoy practical work, solving engineering problems and getting my hands dirty.
                                                                                                                                        Michael Small
March 11-May 6, 2013

Friday, 8 March 2013

WELCOME

Welcome to this selection of short stories by Michael Small, an English writer who has been resident in Australia since 1972.

Michael Small was born in Croydon, Surrey, England in 1943. He attended Springpark Primary School, Shirley and Trinity School of John Whitgift, both situated in Croydon. His tertiary educations was as follows:

BA University of London – English, French, History

PGCE Institute of Education, University of London

TEFL Royal Society of Arts, London

BEd Latrobe University, Melbourne, Australia – Film Theory, Film History, Creative Education

MA University of Windsor, Ontario, Canada – Creative Writing and Literature

An English teacher by profession, he has taught in England, Sweden, Canada and Australia.

Since 1973 he has had many poems, short stories and articles published in Australia, Canada, England, India and United States. His four published books are as follows:

Her Natural Life and Other Stories, Tamarillo Publishing; Melbourne, 1988

Films: A Resource Book for Studying Film as Text (with Brian Keyte), Longman Cheshire; Melbourne, 1994

Unleashed: A History of Footscray Football Club (with John Lack, Chris McConville and Damien Wright), Aus Sport Enterprises; Footscray, Victoria, 1996

Urangeline: Voices of Carey 1923-1997, Playwright Publishing; Sydney, 1997


I hope that you can find something to enjoy amongst these thirty-odd stories.

You may like to read some of Michael’s poems which can be found on www.issuu.com/michaelsmall

Shaped for Sportive Tricks features several comedic and ‘shaped’ poems.

Slanged is a series ofsixfy poems about the convict era from 1712 in London to 1860 in Williamstown, Victoria, making use of mainly historical characters and period slang. Several poetic forms are used.

BETWEEN TWO STOOLS & OTHER STORIES

A few weeks after arriving in Melbourne in August, 1972, I began writing a short story that would be published in The Sun-News Pictorial Short Story Competition early in the following January. I remember my embarrassment to learn later that the English word ‘togs’ that I had used in Between Two Stools meant ‘bathers’ in Australian English and not ‘old clothes’. Thenceforth I became very attentive to the Aussie idiom.

The following year my second story, Alice Safari, also made the final cut. Then in December, 1977 I was asked to contribute a piece, a shorter version of Her Natural Life, to the newspaper’s competition for January, 1978. I owe a great deal to The Sun-News Pictorial and Jim Hamilton, President of the Victorian Fellowship of Australian Writers, for pushing me out into the open seas of fiction writing.

Dust In Your Eyes was one of the winners in the VFAW (Victorian Fellowship of Australian Writers) Award in 1992.

The stories that I have selected were written between 1972 and 2018. They appear in reverse chronological order, with the most recently written presented at the top of Posts:


1 BETWEEN TWO STOOLS

2 ALICE SAFARI

3 BORN LOSER

4 ROADSCAPE

5 THE PLAY’S THE THING

6 THE CITYMART DERBY

7 HER NATURAL LIFE

8 CAT’S-PAW

9 RESTING PLACE

10 THE MODEL UNVEILED

11 L’OSSESSIONE

12 SOVRAN KING

13 HOMEWARD BOUND

14 THE ODD FLUTTER

15 IMMEMORIAL RUN

16 I DON’T TELL STORIES

17 HARVEST-TIME IN PROVENCE

18 VEGETABLE LOVE

19 RAKING THE ASHES

20 DUST IN YOUR EYES

21 M’CRACKEN’S GHOST

22 HER MASTER’S VOICE

23 PUSKAS

24 THE BOUNCING STONES

25 BEYOND THE GIRRAWHEEN STEPS

26 A BITTER SPACE

27 CYCLONE CORAL

28 ROAD TO KAROL BAGH

29 BRIEFED FOR BERLIN

30 A LEGEND LAUNDERED

31 WHERE THERE’S A WILL

32 THE WAY OF THE WARRIOR

33 THE SCORN OF BECKY PILBEAM

34 SNUFFLING FOR BLACK GOLD

35 TERRAIN OF THE LEXICO MAN

36 IA ORANA, TAHITI

37 ON THE VERGE OF PROSTRATION

38 BEAUTIFUL VEINS

39 FLIGHT FROM BRESLAU

40 FROM THE UNDERGROUND AND INTO THE SUN

41 AVOWED SILENCE

42 IN THE GLARE OF THE HOOGHLY

43 THE LIBERATOR ENDURES

44 SKIN HUNGER

45 TYSON'S URCHINS OF CAMBODIA

46 VILLAGE OF FADING DREAMS (1)

47 VILLAGE OF FADING DREAMS (2)

48 FIRING UP AGAIN

49 HIMALAYAN RETREAT

50 SHOWING THE FLAG

51 RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT

52 SILVERY STREAMS OF INCA STONES

53 VILLAGE OF FADING DREAMS (3)

54 THE FACESAVER

55 THAT LITTLE CAP MAKER MACHINE

56 VILLAGE OF FADING DREAMS (4)

57 HARRIER HOBBLED IN GOLD DUST

58 VILLAGE OF FADING DREAMS (5)

59 HAWKING IT UP IN CHITWAN

60 THE BITTER BREAD OF BANISHMENT (Henry Savery)

61 STELLAR CHARLIE CALLOWAY

62 FIRE ESCAPE














IN THE GLARE OF THE HOOGHLY

April 22, 1945:  Calcutta

Even before I screwed my eyes open, I felt a moist cloth slide across my blinding headache.  God only knows how grateful I was, sweating there like a pig on that hemp mattress, in spite of the overhead fan whirring.  Peering down at me closely was a round, whiskery face, a thick, black bush of a beard and a top-knot of black turban.  My first fleeting impression was of a pirate with blacking on his face, the one who tormented and humiliated me at the ceremony of Crossing the Equator.

‘Namaste,’ he said.  ‘At last you are awake, yes?’

‘How long have I been lying here?’  My feeble voice sounded reedy.

‘That I don’t know.  You see, you give no reply to my knock at your door.  They told me  downstairs you were sick with the fever, isn’t it.  May I offer you a bowl of daal, roti and rice pudding?  Please.’

‘Awfully good of you, chum,’ as I struggled to prop myself on an elbow and clear the rasp from my throat, ‘but I’m not so sure I won’t bring it back up.  So who are you, then?

‘I belong to the Khalsa as the drop of water forever merges into the ocean.’  In a trice his swarthy stone face melted into a smile.

‘That’s as maybe.  But what’s your name?  And don’t mention water’ - I sounded whiney now - ‘I really could do with a couple of glasses, but I don’t trust your water and you refuse to serve Indian whiskey.’

‘Good sir, alcoholic beverage is against the law of the Prophet.  My name is Namdev Singh at your service, isn’t it.  I am the manager of this hotel, the Punjabi Masala.’ 

‘Can you fetch me those Mepacrine pills over there on the table, there’s a good chap? Just a spot of your confounded malaria.’

‘I know already.  How clearly do I see your yellow skin.’

‘And how clearly I feel your bedbugs,’ I thought.

He clicked his fingers at the doorway and nodded.  ‘A pot of black tea and pieces of lemon, quickly!’  The presence discreetly standing back turned out to be the skittering young girl I would catch glimpses of in the next few days, avoiding me with downcast chestnut eyes.  Later I noticed some nasty disease on her palms, or so I thought.  ‘Henna tracing,’ Namdev dismissed with a shrug.  ‘It’s the custom.  But I don’t permit her out of my sight.  Indian men have no respect for women.  They are treated like inferior race.  Be it so, I marry my pearl to Sikh man of good family.  It is better for me.’

‘Beg your pardon, Namdev,’ I laboured to say, my headache still throbbing, my throat parched, ‘how does an arranged marriage sit with the Sikh idea that all people are equal?’

The manager spluttered.  When he had recovered his composure and sharp eye, ‘Sir, I remind myself of old English joke.  Some are more equal than hoi polloi.’  The gleam of his teeth showed how pleased he was with himself.

It wasn’t the first time during the war that I’d had any dealings with the locals, but it was the first time lying on my back.  I felt thoroughly browned off, all of a doodah and pretty vulnerable to old mutton-chops.


A virgin traveller, I’ve been bloody lucky really, all things considered.  The war has scarcely touched me.  Only had one narrow squeak and that was four days out from our anchorage at Greenock.  We lay just inside the submarine nets awaiting further ships to join the convoy.  I’d embarked on HMT Windsor Castle, an RAF vessel transporting eight hundred RAF and two hundred and fifty infantry.  Any rate, we were treated to some wonderful food, including a six-course luncheon as we steamed up the Clyde.  When we finally sailed, August 2, 1941, the formation proved a splendid sight.  Our convoy consisted of eighteen troop ships and eleven cargo ships; the escort comprised twelve destroyers, one cruiser and one battleship.

It wasn’t long before the men began to suffer sea-sickness.  As the wind freshened, the sea grew choppy and the ship tossed about a good deal in the heavy head sea.  Boat stations were allocated and I was put in charge of the raft, since there were not enough life-boats.  I still kept my legs but felt a bit shaky in the lower regions, but did manage to keep dinner down. 

The convoy was travelling very close together, about a hundred yards distant from one another, zigzagging continually.  One of the ratings likened the destroyers rushing hither and thither around the convoy to mother hens scurrying after their chicks.  To me, the harum-scarum seemed a likely prelude to panic.

The next day brought thick fog, but no sign of the convoy.  At 9.07 pm the Windsor Castle was struck by our sister ship, the Warwick Castle.  The whole starboard side was swept away.  The hull and deck were cut through just outside my cabin, finishing up about six feet from my window.  All hands were ordered on deck port side.  For four hours we stood by until one o’clock in the morning, when we were ordered below but not to take off our clothes.  Our lifeboats were lost, so for the rest of the voyage to Freetown, we would have to carry our lifebelts.  Then we’d be a mere 400 miles from Dakar – enemy territory!

The following day the weather was calmer.  The ships had firing practice with ackack guns.  All the boys feared we were in a bad danger zone for submarines and there was still no sign of the convoy.  What made matters worse, the fog was lifting, making it vital to drop depth charges to prise out suspected submarines.

I remember that first adventure vividly and how shit-scared I really was.  I call it ‘adventure’ because up to that moment I was still living a Boys Own fiction.  Now I’m sick and tired of all this jingoistic ‘us’ versus ‘them’, good v. evil, black v. white, Christian v. Moslem, Moslem v. Hindu.  All very well for propaganda and morale but deadly for the human spirit.  Is there no middle way?  No compromise?  No tolerance?  No longer do I have the energy or desire to exclude or sneer at others who hold contrary views, though I confess to easily slipping back into my reptilian brain if their attitudes are dogmatic or implacably one-eyed.  There are right bastards in the British army too, who deserve a good punch on the nose; there are Christians so self-righteous that other monotheistic religions are anathema, totally inferior or dependent upon superstition or closed to the light or who turn a blind eye to the horrors of Hitler’s thugs. 

This morning I took a dekko at my bruised and battered threepenny notebook in which I sporadically logged some jottings.  I’d failed to mention the frequency and degree of danger I sensed or the number of occasions I was wrung through the mill of fear.  At times I even sounded blithely gung-ho, as if I was creating my own mythology or believing it.  I suppose it was all part of what the officers drummed into us, keeping a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity, show no fear lest you undermine your comrades’ morale.  But when your very life is on the line, it’s damn nigh impossible to suppress your fears.  Unless, of course, you rev yourself up into a madman by vilifying the enemy.

August 10-13, 1941

Weather good, sea dead calm.  Passed islands of Azores, where our destroyers put in for fuel.  I win the ship’s mileage sweep – 19 bob.  Temperature rising.  In drill kit for the first time.  Sighted many porpoises throwing themselves out of the water.  Final of the deck quoits.

August 17-21, 1941

Anchored in harbour at Freetown, Sierra Leone.  Very hot, vegetation very green, lots of rain.  Native boats alongside, native youths diving for pennies.  Our divers report that the ship is holed in three places below the water line.  We already knew this, as throughout the voyage water pumps had been operating.  Holes are being cemented up so we can proceed.  Repairs carried out by crew from the battleship HMS Vindictive.   Mail sent ashore today.  I hope it gets home safely and quickly.  An oil barge drew alongside and we took in fuel.  Arrangements going ahead for a ceremony and subsequent party for Crossing the Equator.  King Neptune is definitely coming aboard!  Freshwater boat is now alongside, a sure sign that we sail soon.  The lifeboats lost in the collision have been replaced by old ones.  They certainly look ancient to me.  I cannot imagine how on earth we would get them over the ship’s side, let alone lower them down into the sea.  These lifeboats are simply ‘at ease’ on the deck!  Cheerio, Freetown!  Clocks back one hour.  We are now about a week’s run from Durban and Cape Town.  So better get on to this writing home lark.

September 3-7, 1941

Gun practice takes place on our cruiser, HMS Hawkins.  Felt a shiver down my spine when we spied a gigantic shark lazing alongside.  Oh boy, what a size!  Danger of submarines passed three days out from Cape Town, though possibility of enemy surface raiders.  Lurched for three days as the Cape rollers lived up to their name.  Went ashore this afternoon.  Shops are lovely – you can buy anything, no rationing and no coupons for clothes.  Bought three pairs of the most expensive stockings and sent them off to my dearest.  Hope she receives them ok.  Sent her a cable, which she should receive in two days.  Cutting in towards Durban to pick up the other half of the convoy.  Where to from there, I know not.  Rumours abound.  A kindly and generous doctor picked us up in his car for an excellent dinner of samosas and babotie, a spicy shepherd’s pie, and my first glass of sweet wine for aeons.  His home three miles out of town was converted from an old slave lodge into an elegant gabled villa with verandahs and a splendid view of Table Mountain.  I suffered the desperate pangs of homesickness and absent love when introduced to his charming wife and sweet ten year-old daughter.

September 20, 1941

Too excited to have my dip this morning.  We reach our journey’s end – Bombay Harbour.  Latest orders:  we disembark tomorrow, then proceed to Rest Camp for twenty-four hours, then posted to Quetta.  Bloody hot on this ruddy ship!

September 24, 1941

At long last we have docked at Bombay.  Volunteered to do the job of assisting an Indian battery get equipped etc before proceeding overseas on active service.  Still no letter from my darling.  Oh for just a line!  Posted a letter off to Mum.

November 3, 1941

Cheers!  Cheers!  At last I received Blighty mail today – two letters, nos. 1 & 2 from my darling, my first since leaving Britain’s shores in July.  Hard at work drawing tentage from the arsenal and licking the camp into shape before the regiment arrives.  Boiling hot.  My face is all burnt and skinned.  Just sent out for some glycerine jelly.  My arms and legs are nearly black!  Sent off my fifth letter to my beloved, also one to Mum.

December 25, 1941

Spent Xmas day in the desert under canvas.  Colonel invites RSM and self to the officers mess for a drink.  Lovely surprise – local people from Poona visit camp and give us presents – Xmas cakes, fruit, cigarettes etc.  The RSM and myself are regarded as Bona Sahibs.  No mail for three weeks – am very worried. 

January 26, 1942

Despatch rider brought a parcel.  I ripped it apart expecting a letter inside.  There was only a brief note.  Plus two pairs of socks and sets of underwear.  Dreadfully disappointed!

February 2, 1942

Thank god!  Received letters 3, 4 and 7 from Val, telling me she was about to send off a parcel of underwear!

July 25, 1942

Bombshell arrived today.  At first I couldn’t believe it, simply refused to.  I was stunned.  I’m a father!!  Valerie gave birth to a bonny girl on April 20!  I felt utterly ashamed of myself.  God knows what Mum would think.  Dad too.  Probably he’d roll his eyes to the heavens, shake his head, tut-tut and mutter, ‘Typical.  I knew he just would.’  He did warn me about doing the right thing by Val and not leaving her in the lurch.  But why on earth didn’t the poor girl let me know sooner?  Exasperated at first then simmered down. I re-read the letter to find the baby’s name:  Corine.  Has a lovely poetic ring to it, soft letters and two long syllables.  Wonderful news!  Hope to God Val’s parents will understand!  Coward that I am, do I tell Mum?

August 15, 1942

The situation in India begins to look ugly.  Today popped down to Howrah Station but on the way back we were attacked by a gang of stone throwers.  Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt.  Orders just received stated that if hindered by the Indians in any way we must shoot to kill.  Gosh!  Thought the Indians were on our side!  Yet I hope we get some excitement and so do all the boys.  I spent five days scrounging all the stores I could in Calcutta.

January 8, 1943

Just returned from another trip to Calcutta.  Results of the bombings were forwarded:  two fellows of the field regiment were killed and three in hospital seriously injured.  Mum chiding me but has offered our spare front room to Val and the baby.  Winchester is a safer refuge than Portsmouth.

October 3, 1943

Arrived at Chittagong.  Gosh what heat!  Have now established a camp out in the jungle -  one hell of a jungle!  Rocked to sleep at night by threats of jackals and hyenas.

October 20, 1943

Subjected to our first air raid.  Japs flew over on bombing expedition.  No serious damage.  Lord Louis Mountbatten expected to visit the regiment on 23rd.  Sent letter 20 to Val, reassuring her that I’d definitely be taking her to the altar immediately I got back (God willing!).

November 20, 1943

We left Chittagong by road, a journey of 120 miles, hot and full of dust.  The jungle is pretty dense hereabouts – our companions are elephants, tigers, black panthers, snakes and these infernal mosquitoes.  You can see the Chin Hills a mere seventeen miles away.

December 7, 1943

Have done a lot of shooting, snipe and duck, a great change from bully beef!  Got up a shooting expedition with two sergeants and hired a car.  Scored a bulls-eye in antelope country when I brought down a black-spotted cheetah that was really shifting!  We skinned it.  Hope to send the lovely skin home to Val.  Went off on the trail with second-in-command at 11 pm and sat in the jungle until three o’clock in the morning, hoping to bag wild pig.  Rotten luck!  Walking along in the jungle, we stumbled across a leopard.  Literally, only five yards away!  Made me quake.  Fortunately, it turned away and I began to breathe once more.

January 6, 1944

Arrived in Burma, a very hilly country, thick jungle, swamps everywhere.  Weather still incredibly hot.  Chasing the Japs further back.

January 19, 1944

Moved up and over a pass, guns in action.  Zero hour: 2.30 pm arrives.  Everything seems very still and calm.  We open fire and all hell let loose – two guns firing over the top of my truck.  The blast is terrifying.  Just to let the Japs know we are still around.  They cop 100 lb shells for first time.

January 29, 1944

I’m in charge of all the ammunition trucks, two batteries and 130 men.  Today one gun got knocked out by a bomb, one man was killed.

February 6, 1944

Situation is now critical – The Japs have circled round and cut off both batteries.  Have drawn up all vehicles round a small hill, making a stockade, and all men are atop the hill.  Stragglers are coming in wounded.  These alone have escaped when attacked by Jap savages.  Getting fagged being up all day and night.  Our orders are to stay until the last round and the last man.

February 15, 1944

The jungle is our greatest enemy.  We have now lost two officers and twenty men killed and several wounded.  At long last the mail question has been sorted out by my own efforts.  These days I run around on a motor bike.  Still in the stockade at night but also very glad when daylight arrives.  God, what a damnable place Burma is!  How I long to be back home with my darling!  I’m suffering from pyorrhoea – my teeth do not stop bleeding – Regt Doc says I should have the lot out!

February 23, 1944

Situation now in hand since the attack on the Japs.  Four more casualties.  Lost another officer, Captain Taylor, poor old ‘Buck’, one of the best!  We’re still knocking off little Tojo’s men like there’s no tomorrow, but action is winding up.  Soon I must travel back to Chittagong to arrange accommodation, rations and sea voyage.

May 20, 1944

Arrived back in India.  It’s a rotten place really but compared to Burma it is heaven.  Colonel said I could stay in Calcutta for a couple of days on my way through to Ranchi.  Gosh, how nice it was to sit in a chair, to have a lovely bath and above all to be able to ’pull a chain’ again!  I shall never forget the disgusting picture of literally hundreds of men and women squatting in the fields at the break of day, relieving themselves quite unashamed.  Back in Blighty we had an outside toilet that guaranteed privacy, even if it backed onto allotments and the railway line.  There’s civilization for you.

July 20, 1944

Dear old Ranchi is a decent sort of camp.  As Lieutenant i/c Quartermaster Stores, I’m very busy getting guns overhauled for another show at the little yellow idols, getting stores, re-equipping the regiment for action again.  The monsoon broke one month ago, but it’s the confounded jungle that gets us down.

August 10, 1944

Leave is the only pleasure war can give you.  Arrived Kashmir.  What a devil of a journey – trains packed!  Fell in with a fellow by the name of Rick Sawyer.  Decent sort of chap who hails from Bournemouth.  Turns out we might even have played rugger against each other because we both attended public school in Hampshire.  Like myself an infantryman.

From the boulevard around Dal Lake edged with symmetrical Mughal gardens and old wooden mosques, we stepped from the jetty to our taxi, a small wooden boat with canopy.  ‘One of the Mughal emperors said of the Valley of Kashmir,’ Rick murmured, as our ferryman paddled his shikara towards the houseboats, ‘If there is paradise anywhere on earth, it is here, it is here, it is here.’

‘Ah, Jahangir, he say,’ chuckled the ferryman.

Against the backdrop of Pir Parjal mountains and the lower slopes of rice fields, orchards and gardens, the small craft glided through the lily pads and floating leaves and pink lotus flowers and what appeared to be floating islands flanked by low-hanging willows.

Houseboat waiting for us – servants standing by and we given the usual ‘Salaam, Sahib!’  On board I feel like a millionaire.  Lunch at one is the order of the day.  What good grub!  Minced meat balls (unrationed!) and boiled potatoes, tomatoes and cucumbers grown round the lake.  Cooked in saffron, whatever that is.  Followed by dry fruits and melons.

‘I hope all this serenity is not an illusion too,’ I said.

It wasn’t.  We awoke next day to the rapture of bird song, the gentle lilting of wavelets, the occasional squawking of ducks and geese.

‘When this bloody war comes to an end,’ Rick was saying over breakfast, ‘and Tommy Atkins sets foot on Blighty soil again, you’ll witness a putsch for social justice, for social security.  That’s what the talk is all about in the front line, apart from getting back with their loved ones and starting life afresh.  It’s the working classes who’ve made the sacrifices, pressed into the thick of the carnage.  And, thank God, what a gallant show they’ve made of it!  But they won’t tolerate any more abuse in the factories, down the mines or in the trenches.’

‘But a nation that’s grateful won’t ever throw Churchill out of government, surely.   He’s won the war off his own bat, single-handed.’

‘Not quite, Leigh.  Certainly, he was the leader Britain urgently needed, who warned against the rising power of the Nazis and was determined to act.  Cometh the hour, cometh the man.  But now that the war has turned our way, a new dawn is breaking and there’s surging support for reform welling up from the lower classes.  Mark my words, blokes are sick of this bloody war.’

Too damn right!

August 23, 1944

Still on board, enjoying lazy leave in shimmering sunshine.  Neither of us has stepped ashore since we boarded – apart from one foray to Srinagar to smoke hookah, a water pipe.  Rick, who seemed to know about such things, suggested we try saffron shisha.  The very recumbent act of smoking, observing the curlicues of cooling smoke and scenting the sweet aroma of hay fused with honey led to a state of utter abandonment to relaxation, contentment and inner peace.  Heavenly.  Even so, I doubt whether we will go ashore again until our leave is up.  Lots of lying on deck chairs, reading, hot but delicious food - amazing what you can do with lentils and chick peas! – swimming between the shallow boats of Kashmiri fishermen clouding the water, casting nets or using long-pronged sticks or spears, good conversation and, in spite of the Muslim ban on alcohol, we manage to get the odd bottle of whiskey and gin – made such a change from salt tea coloured pink!  What a life!  Mind you, I was slugged one thousand pounds.  Daylight robbery!  Money goes nowhere – ten rupees is worth about eight annas in peacetime.  I would have been happier sending it to my Val as a present.

August 26, 1944

At the end of this unreal holiday, such a heavenly hiatus in the bedevilled turmoil of war, both of us sensed a premonition of calamity or death.

‘This is our last night together, Leigh.  I can’t help thinking we’ve been so bloody lucky till now.’

‘Let’s drink to that and hope it lasts,’ I replied glumly.

‘Speaking for myself, we’ve had a good run together, a smashing holiday, now it’s time to face the music.’ 

‘You know, Rick, after a fortnight of sheer bliss, the sense of peace, the calm beauty of this majestic setting, I don’t know that I can report back.’

‘Don’t talk daft, man!  You’ve got to.  If you don’t, you’ll never be able to look yourself in the face again.  Bang goes your self-respect.  What will your kids think of you?  Not to mention the missus.’

At that appeal to my remote family, my eyes moistened.  ‘I’m not married, Rick.’

‘What!  But you have a child, don’t you?  Oh, don’t tell me . . .’

‘No, it’s not like that.  Everything happened so quickly, the call-up, round of goodbyes, all the hoop-la and what have you.  We never meant to . . . you know.’

‘I know all about that, but I can’t believe you’d jilt the poor girl.  The Luftwaffe have blitzed Portsmouth, remember.  You owe it to her to go back.’

‘Yes, mate,’ I whispered with resignation.  ‘You’re right.  But out here, away from all the horror, the bloody sound and fury, the mangled bodies . . .’ Then I couldn’t help myself but give in to the tears trickling down my face.

Rick was carefully sliding a much-creased photograph from his top pocket.  ‘Here, I haven’t showed you my missus and twin boys.’

‘So this is Audrey,’ I sniffled.  ‘Very lovely she looks too.  I’d kill for a smile like that.’

‘Come on, mate.  Steady as she blows.’  Rick patted me gently on the knee.  ‘Come on, pull yourself together.  The war will be all over in six months.  Then we’ll all be back in dear old Blighty.’

‘If we come through this next offensive against the Japs.’

‘Hey, that’s enough of that talk.’ 

‘It’s a big ‘if’, Rick,’ I insisted.

‘We’re gonna make it, pal, you and me together.’  On that defiant note, he grabbed both my arms, squeezed and shook them, as if to invigorate my flagging spirit.

I felt like a ragged puppet and limply reached out to embrace my friend, still whimpering.  With his defences down, Rick must have been taken aback.  Before I quite realized, he in turn entwined his arms about me in a protective gesture.  Somehow our heads grazed, our awkward tender embrace strengthened into a gripping hug, reluctant tears and heaving sobs, a tentative kiss on the cheeks.  For some time, we cradled and rocked, holding onto each other, occasionally patting each other on the back, as if dreading the moment of parting.

January 21, 1945

Our commandoes and heavy artillery made amphibious assault on Ramree Island.  'Auntie' in action, red-hot, throwing her playful two hundred lb shells at the Nips.  Naval craft Queen Elizabeth’s eight fifteen-inch guns joined the party.  What a great time the little Japs did have!  Ramree Island very peaceful now.  There’s nothing to see but damage and wrecks, human and otherwise. 
March 7, 1945

Just returned to Ramree Island after five days away – mainly flying around the islands, Akyat, Gun Island and Ruywa.  When Akyat bombed, I kept out of the sky.  Later flew around with American flyers in passenger plane.  Ramree still calm – all fighting finished.  There's a rumour that hundreds of fleeing Japs were torn apart in a large swamp by saltwater crocodiles.  Blimey!  What a sickening way to kick the bucket!  Glad to get back and enjoy a good soak in the bath and change of clothes.

March 18, 1945

Reprieved!  Very little work – can now go shooting for pleasure.  Had an illuminating experience today – went popping at whistling teal.  Passing through a village, I heard awful female screams.  Quickly broke into a run and plunged through the jungle to find two Indian soldiers about to rape a Burmese woman nineteen years old.  She was completely naked.  I shouted out orders in Urdu to the Indian soldiers (I know the basics of their language now), ordered them to stand to attention.  I was starkers myself except for a pair of shorts but had my officers cap on.  The Indian soldiers did as they were told while I obtained number, rank, name and unit.  The poor female crawled over to me and kissed my feet – her hands clinging to my hips – poor thing, she was dreadfully upset.  Then a Burmese man came running up.  He was the woman’s husband, also head man of the village and, wonders never cease, he spoke perfect English, addressing me as ‘Your Honour’.  He was most grateful and called me his ‘blood brother’.

March 20, 1945

Just returned from a shooting trip – great sport, bagged 8 ducks.  Called in at the village and saw my ‘blood brother’.  He gave me a great welcome, chair, table, tablecloth, lots of fruit.  His poor wife is always looking at me, as if I was a god!  All the village gather round and I give the youngsters chocolate.  They all seem to worship me now.  Poor things, they had an awful time when the Japs were on the island.  I am given the freedom of the village.  As I walk among them, both men and women always bow to me – normally, if it were anybody else the women would turn their backs and walk indoors.  The Japs certainly took their toll of the women – they don’t seem to understand why I don’t want any of them.  Time after time I visit the village and the children run to greet me.

April 10, 1945

Still on Ramree, our move to Bangalore being cancelled.  My day of days has arrived.  Staff captain of HQRA arrived from Aryab, a very good friend of mine.  His first words were ‘Congratulations, Leigh’ and shook my hand.  I couldn’t understand what it was all about, he looked so solemn. Then wonderful news, news I had been waiting for almost four long, weary years:  ‘Your boat’s in, Leigh, and you’re leaving for home in a couple of weeks.  I’m afraid, though, your mate Rick Sawyer didn’t make it back.  A Japanese sniper ambushed him on Gun Island.  I’m sorry, Leigh.’

Rushed a letter off to Val, telling her the mixed blessing.

April 19, 1945

Said goodbye to the Regiment at 0930 today.  Left Ramree Island in a Dakota for Calcutta and finally reached the drome about 2030 hrs.  Put up at the Punjabi Masala.

April 20, 1945

Terrible weather.  Temperature 90 degrees all day and not a drop of rain.  The air is decidedly unwholesome.  Afraid the fever is coming on again, twinges of rheumatism in joints.

April 24, 1945

‘Where are you eating today?’ asked Namdev, clearly pleased to see me up and about again.

‘The Great Eastern Hotel as usual.’ 

‘Why to do that?’

‘Always enjoyed putting up at the Great Eastern with its checkerboard marble and hot, spicy Chinese dishes as well as hobnobbing with the Rajahs and Nawabs and nabobs of Calcutta.  This time, though, what with the regular billeting of the Yanks as well as our boys we couldn’t get a look-in.  So we had a scout around and found this place.’

‘My good sir, see if you haven’t merited such good choice.  This is palace, not flea-pit.  Most definitely.’

‘I’m certainly getting a taste for your masala chai.  Must be my sweet tooth.  I do miss my rum babas in Winchester, though.’

‘Come with me.  I like to show you how Sikhs are thinking.’

‘Sorry, Namdev, it’s not just the food, but the company at the Great Eastern, the atmosphere. There’s good drinking, we have a few belly laughs, really let our hair down with a sing-song round the old joanna.’

‘If you want to learn for yourself how Indian people are living, just come with me to the gurdwara.  The food is very healthy and the cost is free, isn’t it.’

‘Where is this restaurant?’

‘Come, I show you.’  Namdev took my elbow and steered me to the door.  ‘It’s not a restaurant exactly.’

Walking by the bazaar of shop fronts with elevated floors and hawkers sitting on mats selling their wares, we arrived at a patch of shade beneath some sturdy concrete pillars.

‘What is this place?

‘A Sikh temple, isn’t it.’

'But I thought . . .'

‘We are going up these steps.  This is place of worship so you must take off your shoes and cover your head.  There’s some space in the back row.’

‘I thought we were heading for lunch.  My stomach’s got a hole in it.’

‘Soon, very soon.  We are just sitting on the carpet for a few minutes and listening to prayers.’

An elderly silver-bearded man was kneeling down before the altar and chanting verses from the holy book mounted on a platform, accompanied by one man on drum and two on cymbals.  The worshippers recited a response.

‘They are singing a hymn to praise the One True God,’ whispered Namdev.  ‘It is Punjabi language.  See how smiling they are.’

A stubbly youth stood up and recited a long prayer before the old man gave a blessing.

‘Come,’ said Namdev.  We make a tour of the langar, the kitchens.’

‘What’s the hygiene like?’ I whispered.  ‘Putrid?’  We’ve been warned against eating from street vendors and cheap dives.’ 

‘God is good to you, my friend.’

Further into the temple, several women were preparing the food at a row of tables near a steaming cauldron and smaller pots.

‘As you see, on the griddle there, we are eating chapatti, very popular in West Bengal with dahl.  And vegetable curry, very spicy hot.  Next time you come, you make chapatti.’

‘Why is there no charge for the meal?’

‘Sikhs believe that everyone is equal and must share food.  Those from our community who can give contribution help poor people.’

Namdev’s words about a just society for his community struck a chord with Rick’s vision for the light on the hill for post-war Britain.

After the simple but satisfying meal of curried vegetables eaten cross-legged on the floor, I was eager to visit St Paul’s Cathedral.  ‘My time is fast running out, Namdev,’ I explained.  ‘I must leave tomorrow.’


Back in the lobby of the Punjabi Masala, we were waiting for Balbir when suddenly a loud shriek rent the air.

‘What the hell!’

‘Please, everything’s under control,’ pleaded a rattled Namdev.  ‘My wife, she is attending to small domestic matter.’

But I was already hastening to the foot of the stairs, just in time to see a petite young lady scurrying across the landing, sobbing bitterly to the jingling of miniature bells on her ankle bracelet.

‘Is everything all right?’  I called out.  ‘Are you okay?’  But the young woman wearing a sky-blue shalmar kamiz covered the side of her face with a sleeve and disappeared along the passage.

From the doorway behind me came Namdev’s voice with a hint of irritation:  ‘Please, sir, come with me.  I have arranged for my brother Balbir to escort you to St Paul’s.  He is on leave from the Indian Army.  Very beautiful cathedral, St Paul’s.’

‘But what about the young lady?’

‘As I said, my wife is seeing to the matter, isn’t it.’

‘But it’s a terrible shame that . . .’

‘I tell you, it’s a shame and scandal.  Damn me if I have no-good woman for daughter!’


While the bearing of Namdev’s brother was very straight-backed, his face bore the scars of conflict.  No longer was he wearing breeches tucked into puttees, but a skirt-jacket and loose trousers.  His fierce green eyes reminded me of the leopard I had surprised.

‘Namaste!’ he said, arching his hands and bowing in a perfunctory manner.

‘Namaste!  First thing, Balbir, who is that young girl crying her eyes out?’

He shrugged.  ‘Women’s business.’

‘Yes, but did she have an accident, was she sick?’

‘That’s Namdev’s daughter-in-law.  Chetana.  Now she is married she must live in Namdev’s household.  It is her duty to obey her mother-in-law.  She is crying very often.’

‘But why, man?’

Again Balbir shrugged and took his time to answer.  ‘Perhaps she doesn’t make the chapatti or paratha in right way.  Then she is beaten for being lazy or careless.’

‘Beaten?  By whom?’

‘By her mother-in-law,’ he said impatiently.  ‘Arjinder.’

‘Whatever happened to equal rights for all Sikhs?  Or the unity of male and female principles?’ 

Balbir’s bushy black brow furrowed.  ‘We do not trouble our heads with doctrine.  We fight’. 

‘All the same . . . What’s the purpose of those bells on her ankle?’

‘They are warning my brother of her presence.  He must never be seen by her in awkward positions, like sitting with his legs apart or picking his nose.’  His white molars tinged with red beetel juice offered an uncertain grin.  ‘Dignity he must keep to command respect due.’

The heat was stifling, dry and dusty as we made our way to the Maidan by cycle-rickshaw.  In the distance across the lawns, hazed in silver glitter, Howrah Bridge, a nest of jumbled needles above a dipping bow.  I still had the stomach cramps, but as we breezed down Strand Road alongside the broad sweep of the Hooghly River, an arm of Mata Ganga, I was confronted by lives lived on the street, thousands upon thousands of them:  bowl sellers sitting on upturned baskets, bamboo basket-makers, craftsmen squatting by their pavement stalls.  And at the ghats dunking bathers washing themselves or offering prayers and laundry folk kneading their clothes.  A team of bullocks was traversing the bridge.  Were those occasional whiffs of a sweet smell blowing over from the burning ghats, I wondered, or from the stench of raw sewage, cow dung, goat droppings and mouldering vegetables around the stalls?  Half a dozen men were carrying a muslin-wrapped body down to the funerary pyres for cremation before the gaze of onlookers.  Repelled but fascinated in spite of myself, I couldn’t help but sense the presence of death all around me, incredulous that the stark reality was played out so publicly, so accepted as matter-of-fact.  Hustling the burning ghats with begging bowls were ghastly grey ghosts, the faquirs, holy men smeared with ash, as if stricken with leprosy along with mendicants telling their beads.

The din of hooting motor horns, ringing of bicycle bells, the blast from downstream of sirens from cargo ships and tugs at full stretch bullying a host of slight bamboo craft and fishing boats whose fishermen were standing or lying in the bows.  The throngs of gabbling wayfarers were becoming insufferable, but from Fort William the sight of St Paul’s Cathedral imposed on civilized grass in the Maidan was a little comforting, more calming, people relaxing beneath the boughs of trees.  The scrawny brown-berried bodies of kids scampering at cricket brought a smile.  The familiar tower, the Gothic features, the stained glass windows reminded me of familiar Canterbury. 

I paid my respects to honour the British dead who lost their lives in various wars as well as the 1857 Uprising at Kanpur, when the British garrison was massacred, four hundred men, women and children.  Their names were commemorated by slabs on the walls.  A pang of homesickness abruptly swept over me.  How often had I been savouring the prospect of holding my precious Valerie in my arms, but momentarily I envisioned myself as a marked man.  My number was up.

‘Maya!’  Balbir spat on the ground.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’  I retorted, indignant.

‘That building is a blot on the Indian escutcheon, an illusion, an empty symbol of your power bygone.  Why these foreign relics can’t stay dead!’

‘But many Indians follow the Christian faith.’

‘If the British honour their word, they will be handing over reins of government to the rightful ones.’

‘So why do you frown?’

‘Suffer me to wonder if the partition bears fruit, what will become of Amritsar?  What will be the fate of our Golden Temple?’

‘I have no idea.’

‘That was a question rhetorical, isn’t it.  But I tell you, God has his reasons.’

Inside the cathedral, the atmosphere was still, peaceful, cooled by the rows of fans hanging from the ceiling.  This eccentric though welcome addition got me pondering how out-of-place this relic of imperial grandeur was, like stolid Fort William in its splendid isolation on the banks of the Hooghly.

‘Balbir, I can’t imagine the pride of the Indian army turning against His Majesty’s army.  At the beginning of the war, it was only the British Commonwealth that had the guts to stand up against Hitler. And the Indian army was loyal.  In fact, in spite of Gandhi’s injunction, Indians of every religion mustered in their legions to take arms against Nazism.’

‘Yes indeed, the Indian army will continue to fight against the Axis Powers, but now we are also fighting against the Japanese on our own eastern flank.  So allegiance is changing, especially since the Mahatma began his Quit India campaign and pressed his claim for Indian independence.’

‘But why is Gandhi listened to?  From what I gather, he holds some very weird ideas.  Such as his advice to Westminster to lay down arms and allow Hitler to enter England.  That’s crazy talk!  And the man spends hours spinning cloth by hand and wearing the skirt of the labourer and going on a hunger strike over a salt tax till he’s wafer-thin.  Since when has fasting been a weapon?  Then there’s his hypocrisy of preaching celibacy in marriage while sleeping alongside very young and attractive women.  And he’s only recently been released from the lock-up.  How can you win a war that way?  Or even govern your own country, especially one so vast and inhabitants so numerous?’

‘Gandhi is very humble man, very holy.  He respects lowest caste, especially the Untouchables.  Unlike your Mr Churchill.  Gandhi, he fights with strength of spirit, not force of arms.’

In order to be rid of me, I suspect, Balbir suggested I might care to visit the South Park Street Cemetery by myself.  It was an hour or so before sunset when I strolled toward the city centre.  The park was somnolent but for the shrill cry of radiant blue peacocks, some strutting along the lower boughs of trees.  The cross on these tall gravestones etched with moss confirmed the Christian burial ground.  Inside the main gate, the large porch displayed several plaques on its walls – the dates and ages of the deceased.  Causes of death were classified as tropical illnesses and childbirth; also battle wounds and shipwrecks; even victims of lightning strikes.  What really hit home was the high number of infants and children who had died, far away from the land of their fathers.

Along the central avenue, the vast imperial necropolis of tombs, mausoleums and pyramids in decay illustrated the supposed glory of the British Raj.  It had seen better days.  The crumbling of those grand soot-encrusted buildings saddened me, left me pondering over the massy imposition of a foreign culture, then bewildered at the huge outlay of energy and expense.  Then the advertisements for Britannia Biscuits and Ovaltine, Epsom Salts and Waterbury’s Compound, Kepler’s Malt and Castor Oil, all wrenched me with the terrible longing for home and the flashes of memorial keepsakes from childhood.

By a roadside stall I was deep in thoughts about Corine while waiting to be served three stumpy little bananas:  was she talking yet, why haven’t I received any photos of her, how many letters have gone astray, does she look like me?   Bam!  I was jolted by a smack on the chest, something filthy red, a slobbery wad of that chewed paan, the juice or spittle leaving a messy stain on my shirt front.  I turned round to face the fierce glare of a middle-aged man in loose white baggy trousers.

‘Why you don’t quit India, you imperious English dogs!’ he yelled, with a jerky dismissive motion of an upraised arm.  ‘You curse of Allah!’

Whether it were my fatigue or debility or too much wandering through the wall of heat and dust, the shimmering sunlight was dancing tricks on my senses, my peripheral vision, gathering momentum.  The garish colours of displays of merchandise by street pedlars, signboard cartoons, bolts of material, fabrics, simmering silks, luminous saris, scrolls of oriental carpet, all seemed to bleed into one trembling phantasm.  Throbbing in my temples set me reeling a little, weary footsteps too.  ‘Must stay strong!’ I told myself.  ‘Must stay safe!  Stay strong!  Stay alive!’  Thrusting my weak legs forward with each verbal kick of command.  ‘Chin up, you slouch!  Pull yourself together, man!  For godsakes, keep up your pecker up!  Get back home, you must!  Sweet Val is waiting, remember.  Your lotus blossom is waiting.  Damn right she is!  I must stay alive for my lotus, remember.  My two lotuses, remember . . .’

                                                                                                                        Michael Small
January 12-February 28, 2013.